‘Dig’, the instruction came through loud and clear although it was impossible to tell where the voice came from.
I knew the path I was on was long but I couldn’t see what was immediately in front of me as the brow of the hill was just out of eyesight. The wind blew through the trees with an eerie song as the whisper of the swaying grass played out a perfect accompaniment. ‘Dig’ the voice said again, ‘where was it coming from?’ I honestly didn’t know but it was loud and clear as the words resonated through my ear.
Something was coming,
I knew that much, something was coming over the top of that hill and it wasn’t something that I was looking forward to or felt prepared to face. I turned to protest and put forward my case to run but there was no one on this path but me, I was about to walk back from where I came from when I notice the shovel at me feet. ‘Ok, you want me to dig, I’ll bloody dig’ I shouted to my invisible instructor as I struck the path with the shovel and as much conviction as a sullen 7 year old.
The gravel of the path crunched and splayed as the cold tip of the shovel broke the earth.
‘Hurry, dig’. This time the voice was on the other side of me, I knew that there was someone there but also knew that if I turned my head I would be greeted with nothing.
‘It’s not a bloody hole we need, it’s guns, lots of them. Big guns and tanks’ I said but there was no Matrix type aisle of fine weaponry appearing, instead the grass swayed and the trees waved towards the brow of the hill and my sense of unease grew deeper and darker like the sky. ‘Spend less energy talking and more digging, it’s coming’ were the reassuring words that greeted me and for once I agreed but continued to mutter under my breath.
My trench was now the width of the path and 1ft deep when I took a step back to mop my brow and straighten my tender back. ‘You’re going to need a deeper trench..’ before I got the chance to deliver my angry and sarcastic reply the voice continued, ’don’t give up, you’re capable and this is possible, keep going’.
I looked up, mopped my brow and noticed that the feeling of dread was making its way up from my stomach now and the chill that it brought was trying it’s best to wrap me up in its arms so I dug. I worked without question or protest until there was a pit in front of me that stretched across the path. ‘Get leaves, the green ones’ at this command my mind flipped. ‘Leaves, leaves, do you know what’s coming. Have you any idea what’s just around that corner?’ I shouted knowing that there was no-one here but me.
I wandered off the side of my path into the dense thick swaying trees hoping that if this wasn’t real and it was a dream that my imagination would see fit to at least create a ‘gun tree’ ‘cos boy, I knew I needed something to protect me.
It didn’t take long to gather and lay the vibrant green leaves in place as the ever darkening sky was a great incentive to move quickly. Before I even had the chance to stand back and wonder what I was making the next command came loud and clear, ‘Get stones’. ‘Stones, stones, stones can’t help me, I need a tank, guns and lots of bullets!’ as my sense of dread was growing at an alarming rate. ‘You put so much energy into protesting, how much more can you achieve by using the energy to help and do something for yourself?’ with what I thought to be a slightly impatient tone.
At that moment I decided that I was going to step into the unknown, I was terrified and at the same time had an overwhelming sense of trust that whoever was talking to me was looking after me and even protecting me. It was time to let go of what I knew and embrace the fact that it was my knowing that was causing my not knowing in the first place and by stepping into the unknown I would learn more and actually know!
The last stone was laid on the plush green leaves in the nick of time as the dark shadow breeched the brow of the hill with an icy blast. The chill was overpowering, the kind that rattles your bones and the sense of impending doom brought a scream to my mouth which would never be heard. I reached to put my hands over my eyes and shut the reality of what was approaching when I felt something grab both my hands, just like my parents gently sweeping my hands into theirs to keep me safe as we crossed the road.
The world turned dark and I knew that the time had come for me to face what was in my path. My hands received a gentle squeeze which surprised me to the point where I began to grow. The sense of strength and power rose from my feet which were rooted firmly to the ground and as it grew so did I, into a giant, in my mind at least 100ft tall so I was looking down at the speck of perfectly flat stones resting on a bed of vibrant green leaves in the ditch that I had dug not so long ago.
There was warmth that resonated from me and banished the cold into the darkness that it came from. The stones began to glow, light orange at first then a deep glowing red throwing heat and light into the darkness and one by one a stone would rise and shoot into the darkness skimming across the surface like a pebble over a lake. As each stone flew and tore into the darkness the trail of light blazed through and to my wonder the darkness ahead faded into nothing and the path ahead of me was clear.
As I shrank back to the ground I realised that I didn’t need guns, tanks, ammo or anything to get me through the darkness, in fact it was more a case of less is more.
Less protesting and thinking about what I believed I needed and what I didn’t have and trust more. Trust in the fact that I have got the tools and resources that I need to get me through anything, I might not know straight away the reasons why or how but trust in my instincts as I have got what it takes to get me through any darkness and with that I woke up to enjoy the day……….